Femdom for couples

Femdom for couples means a woman leading the pair of you, together, by agreement. That's the whole of the definition. Everything else is arrangement.

The internet is oddly bad at this question. Search it and you'll get toy shops, listicles and a Reddit thread, because almost nobody who actually does this work has bothered to write it down.

The shapes it takes

There's more than one, and the couple chooses:

• Both of you submitting to the same woman, together.
• One of you leading alongside her, with the other on the receiving end of both.
• Her turning the tables on whichever of you is usually in charge at home.
• Her guiding while the two of you do the work, if what you want is to learn to do this yourselves.

Most couples don't know which of these they want when they first write, and that's ordinary. Working it out is what the first conversation is for.

Who actually does this

Overwhelmingly, couples where one person has been quietly curious for years and the other has recently found out, or found out and turned out to be interested too. Nobody arrives fluent. The idea that couples' sessions are for experienced players is the single most common thing people get wrong about them.

It's also not a heterosexual arrangement by default. Queer, gay, bi and non-binary couples do this in exactly the same numbers and with exactly the same range of appetites.

Why bring in a third person at all

Because the hardest part of introducing power exchange into an existing relationship is that you both already have roles, and those roles are hard to put down in a room you share. Somebody outside the relationship holds the structure so neither of you has to, which means neither of you has to be the one who decides, escalates or stops it.

There's also the plain matter of competence. Somebody who does this professionally knows where the risks are, how to warm up, and what a person looks like a minute before they've had enough.

What couples take home

The thing most couples describe afterwards is language. They came in able to hint at something and left able to ask for it, which turns out to be the part that keeps working long after the evening does.

There's some evidence behind that beyond the anecdote: when researchers have studied couples during and after consensual power exchange, partners report feeling closer to one another once the scene is over. The studies are small, so I won't oversell them, but they point the same way everybody's experience does.

Doing it privately, without a professional

Perfectly possible, and plenty of couples do. If that's your plan, the honest advice is to start absurdly light, agree a word that stops everything before you begin, and treat the conversation beforehand as part of the fun, because it is.

A session with me is one way in among several. It's simply the fastest way to find out what you both actually like, without a year of cautious experiments.

Next

What actually happens in a couples session covers the shape of the appointment itself. Couples sessions in London is the page about doing it with me, and the enquiry form is where it starts.